Allan’s View


“Seb knew he was no monkey.

 He KNEW it. They were all wrong.

 He knew they were wrong. He knew

THEY knew they were wrong. He

 knew they knew that HE knew they

 were wrong. If they knew that he

knew, and they knew that he knew

 that they knew that he knew,

then they should stop. Now. NOW !

Or they would all have to die.”

Does the above shock you?

It should. For it is a chilling extract

 from the diary of a notorious

serial killer, Sebastian Jamieson, who sexually assaulted and murdered eight Italian dwarves in Fife in the 1980s. Jamieson is but one among a hideous rogue’s gallery spanning the centuries which plagues all our worst nightmares. I think Bruce Forsyth was another one.

Serial killers remain one of the biggest menaces to society, even in the 21st century when nobody can do anything in secret because of all-seeing cameras everywhere, little chips inside everyone’s body that track movements and thoughts, miniature police robots with x-ray vision, and detectives who can see into the future and predict murders like in that film from a couple of years ago with Kurt Russell in it. Or it might have been that other guy who’s a bit like him, the one from Tango and Cash. Or was that Kurt Russell too? Wait, I’m thinking about Jeff Bridges. Actually, I think it was Tom Cruise in it, not Kurt Russell.

All of this technology, however, does not protect us from the new breed of serial killers who are slashing and pounding their way through the national psyche with rusty blades and blunt instruments. Who are they, you may ask? The Government claims serial killers are a thing of the past, eradicated because of the above technology.


Because serial killers are now INVISIBLE. Hard to believe as it may be, this is the horror truth that the Government wishes to conceal and that we, the people, must confront.

It is a well known fact that for decades serial killers have been engaged in a drive to discover how to become invisible, even before recent technological advances made it essential for them to achieve their goal in order to survive.

But they never achieved that goal themselves.

No, they became invisible by another, more disturbing route. And it was OUR FAULT. Serial killers became invisible because we LOST INTEREST IN THEM. After a peak in the 80s/early 90s, public fascination dwindled and, in a freakish example of hyper-accelerated evolution, our eyes lost their natural ability to distinguish serial killers (usually when they were standing over us with a big hammer in their hand). That is why we are now in the position where murder rates are higher than ever and yet the Government claims serial killers are a thing of the past. And now, who knows how many “accidents”, be they car crashes or a wee Granny falling over in the street, are actually the work of invisible serial killers? It is a truly chilling thought.

But it is a thought which can be fought, so to speak.

For, if we all try hard enough, we can turn serial killers visible again. If we all rekindle our ghoulish fascination, if we all buy the books and watch the films and start truly BELIEVING in them again, we will be able to SEE them again. Probably as they’re bent over us removing our livers, right enough, but at least we’ll be able to see them.

Which, come to think of it, isn’t really much of a solution. But it’s something to think about.

The D-Karts

Oval Callout: Beat it!
 Up yours!
Nae cameras!
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